What should I do with my life?

I came across a book lying on my Dad’s table.  The titled read “what should I do with my life” by Po Bronson. As I been on a break for close to a year and its one question has come across my mind often. I decided to grab and see what special gyan this book was going to help me with. I initially thought it would one of those 10 steps to be a millionaire books . Surprisingly I felt it was worth the read! Po Bronson has written this  book in a way that appealed to me. The author has collected around 60 stories after interacting deeply with people who tried answering the question or atleast had the will to go looking got it rather being stuck with existential view of life. Check out the link for some sample stories.

I really loved his final summary. Very appropriate one. It goes as (verbatim from the book):

Some of the important things I have learned:

A calling is not something you know, it’s something you grow into through trials and mistakes. Work shouldn’t just be fun. Work should be like life – sometimes fun, sometimes moving, and defined by meaningful events. Attack your fears, rather than shy away from them. Bring what you do in alignment with who you are. Freedom is the confidence that you can live within the means of something you ‘re passionate about. Failure’s hard but success at the wrong thing can lock you in forever. Don’t be seduced by artificial love. Be open to defining experiences. Don’t mistake intensity for passion. You don’t find your purpose about you neck, you find it below the neck, when you are transformed by what you have witnessed. You can get good at what you need to serve what you believe in . Get your mind 80 per cent of the way there, then go looking for the catalyst. Look backward as much as forward, inward as much as outward. Nothing helps like knowing you are not alone. There’s a powerful transformative effect when you surround yourself with like-minded people. Create an environment where the truth is invited into your life. If you develop the character, the odds are pretty good you can succeed. Success is defined as when you’re no longer held back by your heart, and your character blossoms, and the gifts you have to offer to the world are apparent. Don’t cling to a single scenario, allow yourself many paths to the same destination. Give it a lifetime to pay off. Things you work hardest for are the things you will most treasure.

I used to think life presented a five-page menu of choices. Now I think choice is in whether to be honest, to ourselves, and others, and the rest is more of an uncovering, a peeling away of layers, discovering talents we assumed we didn’t have. I used to treasure the innocence of first love. Now I treasure the hard-fought. I used to want to change the world. Now, I’m open to letting it change me.

I think lot of people in my generation have started thinking about this in India. As the Indian economy has grown and the world has shrunk due to increased connectivity (transport and communication technology) has given way to increased opportunities. Unlike my parent’s generation who were really not able to question traditions and take risks in their work life. Bunch of stories spoke to me personally. The way I look at life now tells me that I need not regret that I feel I will keep doing things in my life (instead of having one specific calling). Keep exploring and solving tough, meaningful problems in life and move on to newer things. Its the journey and not the goal. Till now I have followed my heart and have always given my best in all the work I have done. Luckily I have been only held back by my health. Have a great family that has supported me always and good set of friends I can lean on. I will always cherish the role of serendipity and look at opportunity in every challenge thrown at me And yeah, its never too late!

understanding anger

Over the past 7 years, my biggest learnings have been about emotions. How emotions affect our mind and behaviour !? I have been into one intense relationship and you are surprised as you discover layer of your own personality that you never imagined! Of all the emotions, the one that tops the list in having control is anger! Anger was the root cause for my bipolar manic phase 7 years back … and it has in various ways ruled small important moments of my life after that. I feel I have kind of understood anger 2  years back , came up with a basic model I use to overcome it whenever it enters my mind and then reduce the half-life (the time) anger stays with in the blood (yes you can feel it!).

The acronym I use when I realize that I am angry is ANGER = iME. Its a 3 fold model that helps me diagnose the problem and then the situation helps adapt to come up with the solution. I have even come to create anger in my mind at some situations so that I can force to be angry and get things or some action done in my life. Yes, it means being manipulative but we all sign up to be manipulative or manipulated in this world in all relationships !

the 3 step process in iME stands for:

inability to understand the situation : Often we don’t have the mindspace or all the information to understand why something has happened or why someone is acting in a specific way. We may subconsciously tend to get anger but we must try to reflect if the response is right after getting all the information!

Mismatch of expectations : sometimes or most often depending on luck things happen or don’t happen according to your expectations. In which case for most people anger is the first mode of response when they realize they are no longer in control! For example : your open the shower knob and there is no water! Typical indian scenario!! You expect your parents to trust in you and many more things

Empathy or lack or it : When we get angry with someone we must be willing to empathize from their perspective before talking or acting on the emotion. We need to try and understand (most difficult part) on why someone acted like that! For examples you need to talk to me over coffee ;P

Apart from these scenarios, sometimes I am very irritable that lowers the threshold to get angry! This is a Physical aspect – less sleep or hunger!

The best way to get over anger is to forget and forgive. The faster you learn to do it the better it is. Sometimes its difficult sometime its not. Very difficult when its you getting angry over yourself for letting yourself get angry Anyway, this was a post I wanted to write for a longtime! Finally it had its moment of flow!

Marriage blues … (via Vinu’s Online Cloud)

awesome!

One of my friends is getting married next week (you can expect some snaps on that front next week!) I am just returning after having a sunday lunch with her. She was telling she is having marriage blues. On one hand she is looking forward for it but she is also slightly scarred about the commitment thing! what are your thoughts folks?? The above picture is around 25 years old. Its from my parent's wedding in 1980. Look at the happiness in eve … Read More

via Vinu's Online Cloud

silence economy

I have been thinking and feeling a lot about silence. You can find posts on this topic in my blog : silence : Infact I lived the last 2 years of my life trying to appreciate in better

This quote by Lao Tzu is so profound! Silence is a source of great strength

Meditating on silence

I mention about it in the following posts : Being Creative ; Creative Silence ; LoCuSt Theory . 2 years back i was so much into internet and mobile, I suddenly felt if I was too dependent on it. What if, I asked myself, I don’t have the connection? Will I be okay and happy? Am I too social? Can I be happy with myself and people around me? Or am I addicted to the internet to the extent that its a relationship I am dependent on? Hence over the last 700+ days I completely withdrew myself and now I am back to full form myself. Happy to say, I can go to an island and still remain happy with out electricity The internet and mobile with facebook, twitter and google definitely keep me happy and entertained. But I shall be happy and thriving without it as well …

Coming back to the topic of the post, I see the whole world economy as a result of the human kind not be at ease with the silence. As I said in my earlier post, Locust Theory : The whole universe is built around Nothingness or impermanence. Actually a massive silence. The absolute truth is nothingness or silence!

The whole modern materialistic, capitalistic world seems to be making money from the inability of people to be at peace with the silence. The economy of the growth i.e. GDP is a measure of how much the country is working towards filing this silence! The only problem I see with this is its fundamentally unstable. Growth where the foundation of the economy is silence is more sustainable and democratic. Growth that is more thought out – a step though slower definitely towards a stronger, better and richer tomorrow. I think India’ growth trajectory is in the right direction with focus on sustainable development, long term development as the future i.e. as per needs and abilities. Of course, there is a balance of power, a big gap in the socio-economic structure. But the inclusive development will happen in sometime … if not now definitely by 2050! the internet and mobile will play a very critical role in this.

HAR PAL … KUCH ZAROORI ( www.mytoday.com Every Moment … something u need ) a new product we are re-launching and re-branding where I work. I guess this will add more fuel to the economy in general : and we take a cut! Hopefully in the more sustainable way.  Only time will tell but I am sure we are onto something really big here. Possibly the next google or facebook? I am sure this will be addictive. Atleast thats my job role to make it addictive – hope I live up to the expectations!

Coming to the more details of the silence economy, this is how the economy functions. In order to get away from the silence, a person, institution or group of people can do one of the following things:

• create
• consume
• comment
• curate
• collaborate (co-create)
• destroy
• share

Depending where you are in the value making or consumption chain your either make or spend money! Thats the gyan session for today too much philosophy. Next blog post on ‘life’ would be either on anger or how / why the future of money will be barter in the open, social and free world

Being Creative

I have been following a process internally for the last 3 weeks to be creative. Sharing it everyone so that we can have a conversation and improve it such that it scales for everyone. Creative tendencies are still seen as a stroke of luck of pure genius! I think its a science yet to be discovered. So, we can have schools of creativity! Schools that can teach you to be creative in general Would love to do a PhD in this field and possibly start a ‘Department of Creativity’

Here is the simple 3 step process:

1. Keep your conscious mind blank or empty or silent (one step process for happiness! enjoy the silence!)
2. Do something new
3. Repeat step 1 and 2

At a fundamental level lot of people find that keeping the mind blank is difficult. Suggestions to make that a process – write down thoughts that come to your mind in paper and assure your self that you will think about it later Possibly use technology (mobile?) if you cannot have paper and pen always! Better if you can read Getting things Done by David Allen

Next, when we keep our conscious mind blank (which I do naturally!), we are very sensitive to emotions. Especially destruction emotions. The book by Daniel Goleman – Destructive Emotions helps to give you an insight a lot! A quick summary – the three core ‘poisons’ from a destructive point of view are anger, craving and delusion!

On the delusion angle, basically  ego, the book by Eckhart Tolle – A New Earth gives you an insight.

The first week, I was doing this actively. Now, I am passively in this state without any effort and I am experiencing pure bliss Filled with energy in terms of mind, body and spirit! Is this awakeing or nirvana or the buddha moment? You feel very child like with lot of empathy.

Just thought will blog it into Ether and see what people think! This is true spirituality with no religion. A process to be creative in all aspects i.e. love, curiosity and strength (my model of life – some time to be blogged later! already did that!! LoCuSt Theory) Have a good day all!

crash and burn

Was listening to Savage Garden‘s Crash and Burn today while driving and I spontaneously cried. I find the song very touching. In the past, I have cried (something that has been difficult for the last 7 yrs!) continuously for hours listening to this song in repeat mode!

This song basically represents the concept of true love (family, friendship, partnership, companionship!). Do find the lyrics and some graphics to get the visual element. Youtube for video. Have a good day! Pictures take from the internet.

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It’s hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can’t take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I’ll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You’re not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You’re caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can’t face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I’ll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You’re not alone

‘Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it’s over you’ll breathe again
You’ll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I’ll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You’re not alone

Being Happy

Anonymous (source anyone?)

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

silence

Lao Tzu

Silence is a source of great strength

Blog ctrl+alt+del

Finally … I am getting time to re-start blogging. Have lots of learnings, insights and interesting stuff to share. Guess, you will see around one post per week easily!

mumbai calling

Was inspired by an old newpaper article (ht cafe Aug 8, 2009) on the status of public websites on mumbai. It basically concluded none of them are user friendly but the information exists!

My take on that – forget user friendly, inaccessible is what I would say. I am sure there are lot companies / young college studies who will do a great job on a voluntary basis. Anyway, given the fact that only 50 million indians access internet once a month and possibly 1 million daily, I guess thats not their priority …

Listing the sites

• http://maharashtra.gov.in/ (doesn’t work!) Then tried http://www.maharashtra.gov.in/ Eureka. Guess what has no search box. Seems list a good assortment of websites that are useful.
• http://www.mmrdamumbai.org/ – Pretty informative about the Mumbai Metropolitan Region Development Authority. Surprisingly you think you would find some maps and pics of construction project but its just information.
• http://bestundertaking.com/ – good site. Got to know I could hire a BEST bus! pretty affordable rates. Also about Advertisements on Buses and Electricity. Right to Information Act also given.
• http://www.trafficpolicemumbai.org/ – No search here again! The display of data sucks. I check about my area Colaba and the rules. I am immediately given a word document with lots of tables and some 170 traffic regalation with no reference to maps! I think people have kind of lost it. Lots of animated gifs and my eyes are going left, right and center I thought traffic was all about focus and direction! Good look at the traffic offences and fines.
• Momentarily I shifted direction and went to the convential ‘wikipedia’, great information – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mumbai . Makes you wonder why the government cannot make sense by some concerned people are able to bring information together in a simple + effective way.
• Municipal Corporation of Greater Mumbai (MCGM)’s website – http://www.mcgm.gov.in/ – again no search but the display is pretty neat and good. Lot to improve
• http://mumbaipolice.org/ – unhappy to say the search doesn’t work. You think phone number and you get lost looking at the list which one to call! Says its designed by http://www.bcwebwise.com/ – very surprised at the crappy work these people are so proud to do. There needs to be a public entity that looks in the quality of these websites if they are outsourced

Anyway, enough of cribbing. Somehow what I noticed was all the websites are caught in the old way of ‘html’ way of designing web content. No one seems to using content management systems like drupal or wordpress. No search boxes. Wish things become better soon!

what is journalism

With technology costs coming down and people becoming more participative, I have always wondering what and how to define what journalism actually entails. Jeff Jarvis quotes in his post on Product vs Process Journalism and I totally endorse Robert’s definition

Robert Picard writes that journalism

is not business model; it is not a job; it is not a company; it is not an industry; it is not a form of media; it is not a distribution platform. Instead, journalism is an activity. It is a body of practices by which information and knowledge is gathered, processed, and conveyed. The practices are influenced by the form of media and distribution platform, of course, as well as by financial arrangements that support the journalism. But one should not equate the two.

Another point, I strongly feel everyone (esp. India Media) should start understanding the implication of what they mean by citizen journalism. Just aggregating tweets or news bits or live reporting on the internet by people is not what I would call journalism. And the word citizen journalism with the general interpretation becomes too overloaded and loose. What is processed and how it is presented in any media at the end is what matters not how fast (not too late !) and how much (esp Indian New TV Channels).

the media tree

My sister sent a lovely story as a forward and then it made me think about the Seventh Mass Media. This made me think a good way to help people visualize evolution of media is using a family tree analogy. Let me know how you like it. My family tree is different than what the story entails but I hope this make sense.

Grand Pa (Cinema – 1900) married Grand Ma (Radio – 1910) outcame daughter (TV – 1950) with strain of Richness+Mass
Grand Pa (Print – 1400) married Grand Ma (Recording – 1800) outcame son (Internet – 1980) with Curiosity+Interactivity
Pa (Internet – 1980) married Ma (TV – 1950) outcame (Mobile – 2000)!

I would say its a bit too soon to deciding its gender and its characteristics. Lets just wait and watch

The story my sister sent The Stranger

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger…he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn’t seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home… Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn’t permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular
Basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked… And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents’ den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?…. .. .

We just call him ‘TV.’

(Note: This should be required reading for every household in America !)

He has a wife now….We call her ‘Computer.’

Their first child is “Cell Phone“.

The Seven Mass Media

1. Print (books, pamphlets, newspapers, magazines, etc) from the late 1400s
2. Recordings (records, tapes, cassettes, cartridges, CDs, DVDs) from the late 1800s
3. Cinema from about 1900
4. Radio from about 1910
5. Television from about 1950
6. Internet from about 1990
7. Mobile phones from about 2000

Skittling Social Media

Some awesome use of Social Media by Skittles. Will be writing something here with these things (will make a good blog pos) – no time nowadays! uff!

Where does twitter go from here?

Skittles’ twitermania!

Twitter as a search engine?

Home Page

GobbledyGook

Twitter Chatter

Integrating Facebook

If you are born in 2002

TwitPoll

movie wrap

Updating my movie count and quick thoughts (will come to re-edit this post again with imdb links and inline reviews)

• Luck By Chance – 3/5
• Dev D – 4.5/5
• War Inc – 2.5/5
• Saw IV – 3.5/5
• Saw V – 4/5
• Married Life – 3/5
• Subramaniam – 4/5
• SlumDog Millionaire – 3.5/5
• Changlings – 4/5
• Curious case of Benjamin Button – 4/5
• Burn after Reading – 4/5
• Rescue Dawn – 4/5
• Dostana – 3.5/5
• Pink Panther 2 – 2/5
• Valkyrie – 3/5
• Delhi-6 – 4/5
• Seven Pounds – 4/5

time to talk numbers!

I have been in the number mood this week. I guess primarily because of the operations jaunt I am having at office. As they say devil is in the details – I think once you break the barrier numbers are cool to swim at. So, today I decided to de-stress from excessive work by looking at my flickr numbers

Another reason I thought it would be good to blog and reflect at the numbers today is because Feb 27th i.e. today happens to be the last day for the gifted pro account by the Flickr Staffer on Nov 26th 2008 when he saw me telling not much bandwidth to upload snaps on the stream! Also, the before I hit another milestone – I have now uploaded my 12,000th snap on flickr. Its a self potrait taken when I was in a reflective mood at Panchgani couple of weekends back de-stressing!

As it stands currently I have uploaded 12,151 photos and my profile i.e http://flickr.com/people/vinu/ has been viewed 1,184,075 times! Total view count of all snaps stands at an amazing 3.3 million+!!

If you examine the breakup the facts are even more amazing – only some 1500 are public.  Rest are private. I pressed the privacy button a year back when my camera became defunct a year back as I was very upset. Then changed certain snaps into public. The fact comes out when you see than 11,000+ snaps have been viewed atleast once Out of everything – one fact I really value a lot – close to 2,000 snaps have been commented at!

In terms of the top 10 of views – the 26/11 snaps are up there. Infact the first 70+ snaps are from this only! I am sure close the 2.5 million views are from the Mumbai terror attacks incident!

In terms of referrers – 82% of all traffic is from flickr itself! the 80-20 rule playing itself! news.yahoo.com – from the mumbai terror attacks incident seems to have contributed 12%!!

Anyway, wrapping it up – it would been nice (more statisfying) to have genuinely got sooo much views i.e. attention for have good quality visual snaps rather than because of news material. Somehow I feel more satisfied and thence happy from genuine appreciation, snaps that convey beauty & feeling. Pictures that are ‘Fluid Frames‘ rather than just news material. But hey, who would not want a supernova moment I was there and I did that! and the Indian Express has called me the real cool dude (newspaper cutting)! he he and I ain’t complaining

The world without a middle class

SHANTANU GUHA RAY’s (Tehelka) article – The Philanthropy Conundrun – has an amazing take!:

The fab four are part of the Forbes top 10 list. Forbes notes that Ambani produces oil, gas, petrochemicals and textiles; younger sibling Anil runs a clutch of companies in sectors as diverse as telecom, power and financial services; Mittal owns the largest steel conglomerate in the world, Sunil Mittal controls India’s largest telecom company.

Philanthropy doesn’t exist in India. The IPL showed that Indian companies have the money (look at the amounts the Ambanis or liquor baron Vijay Mallya spent in acquiring stars for their respective teams) but would not spent on malnourished children,” says social commentator and author Jerry Pinto, who expects the divide between the rich and poor to grow manifold in India. “The poor have lived with it for long and do not expect anything. Perhaps that’s the reason why I do not see any resentment among the poor, no class wars,” he says.

Time magazine’s Africa bureau chief Alex Perry talks of the unjust distribution of wealth all over the world in Falling Off the Edge: Travels Through the Dark Heart of Globalization. The author finds out that while 1.63 million have found outsourcing jobs in India, there were 40 million unemployed, 900 million earned less than $2 a day and 380 million earned less than a dollar. This is the world without a middle class, says Perry, in which — he has 2006- 07 statistics to back him up — one percent of the world’s adults own 40 percent of all global assets. And those figures get even more rarefied as you climb the money pyramid: the richest 10 percent own 85 percent of the assets, while the poorest half own less than one percent.

But then, perhaps for the uber rich, charity really begins at home.

Digitally Native

Three minds explores being digitally native in this four part series:

• The Definition, what makes a “digital native” different
• Play Time, technology is changing relationships
• Work Time, technology is changing learning
• The Trade-Off, technology is changing human beings

Creative Silence

Penned this last night

Pointless being the point
Boredom the only challenge
Greener than grass

Lookin’ within
Look in without
Through the glass

Chaos Cleansing
Butterfly fluterring!
Creative Silence

movie review

Saw a good bunch of movies over the last month. My reviews in line

• The Counterfeiters – 4 /5 German Movie.
• One Missed Call – 3.5 /5
• X-Files – 3.5 /5
• King of California – 4 /5
• Traitor – 3.5 /5
• Flashbacks of Fool – 4 /5
• Death at a Funeral – 4.5/5
• Hunting Party – 4 /5
• Yes Man – 3.5 /5
• Rab Ne Bana De Jodi – 3 /5
• Madagascar 2 – 3 /5
• Gone Baby Gone – 4 /5
• Manorama Six Feet Under 3.5 /5
• Dasvidaniya 4.5 /5
• Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 /5
• Pineapple Express 4 /5

I think I have never elaborated on what rating means. On a scale of 5 this is what they would mean:

• 1 : I think i would have done a better job!
• 2 : Only if you are jobless and mindless
• 3 : Watch once
• 4 : Must Watch
• 5 : Watch it before you die!

girl

Just thought must share the lyrics of the song Girl from Across the Universe (I just love the movie+soundtrack):

Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
She’s the kind of girl you want so much
It makes you sorry;
Still, you don’t regret a single day.
Ah girl! Girl! Girl…